wee~ okay.. so now it's probably like let's sae 2.02 in e morn onli.. so super boring.. juz watched part 2 of white chicks again for like e 5 to 6 times.. cos e dance part wuz super nice.. haha.. yea.. hmm.. today juz went to w.s do project.. den end up at tm walkin bout cos wuz very sian.. hais.. then i went to so mani shops n saw so mani bags.. wanna buy em all.. hais.. no money mah.. den will kana scolded de.. super toot.. hmm.. well.. tinkin of sharin $$ wid my sis n buy one.. den use my own $$ to buy another one for myself.. wat do u think.. hais.. but so mani bag oso wat for lorrh.. funnie rite. well.. who cares.. i m gonna get one aniwae.. hais.. juz now kana fire so long.. until now i tink juz put out awhile ago onli.. so stupid.. is lyk over so mani hrs e firefighters din put out the fire.. wat they doin.. hais.. den now so stink still.. hais.. i wonder why i can never ever bring myself to trust sum1 much.. it's not fair to me.. n it's lyk.. hais.. i said i found my true happie self.. but actually.. i'm probably gonna b like so the 'okay' mood for like how long.. i dunnoe bout dat.. but i guess i'll b fine.. hais.. dun talk bout myself le.. is so the.. hmm.. sounds self-centred lorrh.. well.. my deaR fren larrh.. she's lyk in trouble wid one teacher.. i tryin to help her.. so it's like.. cos she wuz willin to cum to me n share wid me.. so i wanted to help her.. hais.. i rather do dat e rez of my life.. tryin to help ppl den to tink of my own probs.. cos i find that it is like it makes my life more meaningful.. but e onli thing is dat.. sumtimes my frenz c dat cos i got my own probs den dun wanna cum find me.. i feel rather disappointed sumtimes.. i dun wanna force them or aniting.. bcos it's up to them.. i guess dey were juz tryin to b nice.. but i dun wanna tink abt my probs animore.. i juz wanna reallie go dedicate my life to help other ppl den to help myself.. hais.. i finally found the true meaning of IT'S MORE BLESSED TO GIVE THEN TO RECEIVE!!! =) well.. i dunnoe wat to sae.. recently.. been thinkin of doin missionary.. but i dunnoe.. hais.. is lyk well let's c.. hmm.. juz a different thought.. but i still rmb tis reallie good verse lorrh.. "LET NO ONE DESPISE YOUR YOUTH, BUT BE AN EXAMPLE TO THE BELIEVERS IN WORDS, IN CONDUCT, IN LOVE, IN FAITH AND IN PURITY!" 1 TIMOTHY 4:12 hmm.. tis verse reallie let's me have more confidence in wat i do.. reallie.. tis verse was like given durin youth camp still can rmb it well.. i tink it applies a lot to our daily lives.. wen we are juz too afraid to do tings for God.. it's like we muz alwaes rmb dat He is wid us all the time.. dere to help us.. n of cos to stand by us no matter wat.. dat's why i lurv him s my deaRest paPa in heAven.. there r juz a lot to b thankful for if we reallie think about it.. hais.. sumtimes i can reallie start wishin dat everydae i could juz find sum1 i can reallie help.. den after each dae i can juz go hm.. satisfied.. feelin great if dat person feels better.. well not feel glad for myself but for my deaR frenz cos dey r happie now.. hais.. but sumhow.. i guess.. i dun make a person feel better after all.. in an instance.. hais..i even pissed dat person off while tryin to seek help.. wat m i right.. hais.. juz afraid.. but i can rmb part of a verse which saes FEAR NOT!!! hais.. i reallie dunnoe.. i m juz too confused.. i wish i could reallie talk to my deaR frenz.. but.. i juz haf tis feaR in me that.. they'll get pissed.. they will be juz like so irritated with me.. i dun wanna lose my deaR frenz.. hais.. i wanna help them instead.. like one of my frenz bahh.. take as example.. she's a gReat fren.. but juz dat.. i guess.. she doesn't reallie prefer talkin to me bout stuff.. dun wanna clearly state to me bahh.. hais.. i dunnoe.. i feel kinda sad for her.. but i guess she found sum1 to talk to.. sum1 who clearly understands her bahh.. hais.. i think we're like driftin apart.. but i guess she doesn't noe it.. hais.. perhaps juz perhaps.. i'm juz not lucky enough in dat sense bahh.. hais.. also.. u noe... sum1 close to me is makin feel sad.. disappointed.. though i guess she doesn't understand it or even noe dat she's doin it.. i feel reallie hurt.. i dun even wanna bother explainin to my frenz abt it.. they'll probably sae i'm too sensitive.. too selfish n stuff liddat.. but i'm not.. i reallie m not selfish.. i juz dunnoe why she is doin tis.. she has more frenz den me.. more ppl who cares bout her.. she even has so mani ppl ard her.. but me.. i dun hv as mani ppl as her.. so why is she still doin tis to me?! hais.. i dunnoe.. n it's not the first time.. it's a few times alreadi.. i dunnoe wat to feel.. think.. sae or do bout it.. i still talk to her s normal.. i mean.. wat else can i do? hais.. m i n idiot dat she can juz go ard doin tis to me..? if she tinks dat wae.. i dunnoe wat to sae.. but my guess is dat she's juz like doin it.. but not knowin it.. it realli hurts... i dunnoe.. i juz feel reallie sad tinkin bout it.. hais.. tis has probably been e longest blog dat i haf written but.. i mean.. hais.. i dunnoe... hais. spent like 40 over mins tinkin lotsa tings n updatin tis blog.. if anione reads tis full thing.. plz giv me sum comments or sumtin.. i reallie m lost now.. hais.. confused.. but i'll pRay about it.. PRAYER IS A POWERFUL WEAPON!!! love my deaRest paPa in heAven cos he has not deserted me at all.. after all i've done.. i'm reallie sry for onli goin to him when i'm in trouble or feel upset.. hais.. but i juz hope he'll forgive me.. deaRest paPa.. thank you.. hais..
