Friday, February 25, 2005
hais.. everything is against me.. i dunnoe why.. even tis blog tingy.. i juz typed my long depressin blog to get everythin off my mind den is like wat.. now i hafta type everything again.. juz so dat i can feel better.. n not so pissed n sad.. confused n wateva.. hais.. i dunnoe wat to sae oso.. juz dat.. life hasn't been off much fun lately has it.. hais.. dunnoe lorrh.. juz dat my frenz life.. are so depressin.. so is mine honestly.. but i guess i dun have much to complain now do i.. cos my fren needs me more den i need myself.. so i dun wanna think about my problems.. but yest.. it wuz a real freakin dae for me.. tiring.. sad dae.. hais.. let's start with e mornin.. i wuz happily doin my prefect duty when this guy told me no nid to do le.. hais.. tis duty i do since like beginnin of yr.. n i so fond of tis duty le.. hais.. but dat's bsides e main pt.. in e afternoon.. i din hv ani mood to do aniting.. i wuz so sad.. so i din wanna eat.. hais.. den sat by myself all alone for sumtime till my fren came along.. i reallie needed to talk to sum1.. so i went to her n pulled her away from the crowded place to talk to her.. so talk.. told her bout tings.. n den.. hais.. i started cryin.. damnn.. i so totally hate it when i cry.. so embarassin.. hais but i juz felt realli upset.. hais.. i realli wanna talk to tis person.. but apparently yest.. i didn't... reallie wish i could juz tel tis person everything rite now.. cos tis person makes me feel better sumtimes.. hais.. but i guess.. nth will work de.. tis person oso hav own problems to settle.. so is like dun wanna disturb tis person.. now __ is at sports heats n i dun wanna go so.. here i m. hais.. wish i could juz msg __ now.. but apparently it seems hopeless.. no pt disturbin others.. hais.. i reallie dunnoe.. firstly.. my dad's gonna go to Thailand in about 10 days.. i reallie gonna miss him a lot.. hais.. den oso is like yest i talked to my fren finish le.. den had to go for SLC meetin.. hais.. but of cos b4 dat got go wash face first larrh.. hais.. i dun mind typin all these here.. cos no one reallie visits my blog much.. so yea.. dun care.. hais.. aniwae.. to continue.. my SLC meetin sux.. i now hafta watch e whole movie of mulan juz to extract one part of it with shows leadership.. but dat ain't so bad larrh.. after dat.. got choir.. so is lyk after dat.. wen goin hm dat time.. i wen ws a while.. den i went wid felicia.. wendy.. c.a... stephanie.. n den is lyk i wuz walkin.. feelin freakinly dwn so i walked awae from dem n walked alone.. hais.. den later on.. dey went to macs.. i went to popular.. get sum stuff.. hais.. den after dat.. after i got my stuff.. i wen to macs to find dem.. hais.. den later on.. walk with felicia to e bus stop.. den took e bus hm.. hais.. since din eat lunch.. felt hungry.. guess wat..wen i went home.. my mum cancelled my dinner.. i mean whole family larrh.. but is lyk.. hais.. den my bro got cook sum rice but onli enuff for himself.. so i wuz hungry... on top of dat.. my mum started scoldin like hell lorrh.. i reallie dunnoe wat to sae bout her.. but .. hais.. den later my dad came back.. he wuz angry.. very angry.. cos he saw no food.. den my sibs oso all hungry.. so after he bathed.. he brought us all out for dinner.. hais..but b4 dat.. he wuz reallie very angry.. he scolded my mum.. cos he worried bout us.. hais.. den is lyk he so angry dat he actually said sumtin.. i forgot le.. hais.. but it wuz mean.. i dun get it.. is like he actually said.."I dunnoe wat's going on with my family.. " hais.. i juz asked for e defination of family from my fren.. guess wat he said.. "a place where you are being shown lots of love n care n concern ..a place where every one dun look down on ya...a place where all encourage you in wad you are doing n oso support yer decision.. " hais.. apparently tis ain't called a family den.. wat the heck larrh.. guess wat my mum actually said about me n my sis... "If one dae me n ur dad will b separated or wat.. it will b bcos of both of u.." can u believe she actually said dat? i dunnoe.. mayb she juz too stressed? my dad still cared about whether she wans to eat anot.. while he himself din eat.. hais.. dunnoe wat to sae lehh.. hais.. she still thinks she's rite.. does she tink she's reallie rite? i dunnoe.. i dun wanna noe aniting.. at times like these.. i reallie wish i can run awae from everyone n everything.. esp my family.. hais.. which is not even called a family animore.. hais.. dunnoe wat to sae.. how to continue.. so i'll juz end here.. cos i feel better le.. talk to my fren bout it.. so.. hopefully Sarah u'll tkk lotsa care if u c tis.. buaix.. cheeR up..
Friday, February 25, 2005;
