hmm.. i jus tot some time ago.. about our lives.. n related it to bowls.. haha.. well.. i wus tellin sarah.. our lives are like perfect bowls.. u noe wan.. yupp.. den is like inside our perfect bowls contains ripples very harsh de.. den another bowl.. God's bowl.. His bowl is like.. so battered.. very ugly in simple terms.. den after dat a lot of holes n stuff liddat.. but e ripples r soft.. i asked her.. which bowl would u wan to swim in.. mani a times.. we would rather swim in our perfect bowl so that ppl will c how wonderful it is.. but they dunno our struggles.. n it's like it's so tough.. yet to save our mian zi.. we mian chiang.. try our very best to hold on.. however.. in due time.. we tend to get tired.. and we eventually drown.. however.. in God's bowl.. although the bowl looks super ugly n stuff.. but we swim with more ease.. den we tend to last longer.. and it's like after mending and stuff.. the outside can look the same as our perfect bowls.. isn't it like killin two birds with one stone? but ppl tend to think tat.. it takes too long and it's like.. i wan my bowl to b perfect NOW! so they dun care.. but why dun we wan to choose the easy way out.. when we would feel betta.. why do we try so hard to b someone we are not.. whyy.. cos we wann ppl to c us s perfect ppl.. s perfect humans.. why do we wan to b perfect and nt let our frens help us instead.. whyy do we try to fit into tat crowd which is so totally not us.. whyy.. why do we wan to please others when we can't even please God.. God is so easy to please bcos He loves us.. unlike our frens who would end up betraying us.. n we can't trust.. sighh.. i dunno.. i can't trust anione in my cls.. even my so-called best fren.. i tot she was.. but i wus wrong.. hmm.. i've learnt not to trust anione bahh.. unless i seriously know i can trust them.. my church frens.. they my bestiess.. seriously.. cos i can trust them n they r so close to me.. i tink so aniwae.. i've doubts bcos of somethings.. but.. dun talk bout it.. cum back to e topic.. God loves us so muchh.. His love is so strong.. and it can't b compared to aniting.. but often we forsake His love for the tings of the world.. wat for.. jus to please the ppl of the world.. we tend to act differently in front of ppl.. i'm tryin.. i'm trying to b stronger in front of others.. i can't make it.. but i'll try all my best.. i wanna stand up for them.. i wanna b by their side when they nid me.. even if i'm someone whom dey wanna make use of.. i guess i dun mind.. cos at least they tink bout me.. rite? i dunno.. mayb they not considered my frens.. yeahh.. but.. i dun mind.. i've tried not to cry n let all out.. but i can't make it alone.. i'm sorri.. i wanna b there.. but i can't.. i'm tired after trying.. but i'll continue.. i won't giv up. i will try all the wayy.. i dun care.. i mus.. i wanna b there for my frens.. but do they wanna approach me.? i doubt it.. in their eyes.. i'm so noti.. so bad.. so wateva.. but .. i dunno.. sighhs.. dey dunno e real me.. why do they jus judge me like tat? i dunno.. they tink i'm jus this pai kia.. in my parents' eyes yeahh? but do they realli noe me? i'm jus equally sensitive s b4.. but it's jsu tat now i'm trying my best not to show it.. so that ppl dun sae i'm jus another weakling.. i wanna b strong for them.. someone they can count on.. but i'm sorry i can't b their perfect frenn.. i have flaws. so does everyone..so i'm sorry.. i din mean it.. i hope i can tat fren u can lean n count on still.. i'll try my best.. thx to blogs i can post tings w/o mani ppl knowin muchh.. now i realli appreciate tis tingyy.. sighhs.. lucky for me nto mani ppl read it.. but i dunno.. i giv up trying to please myself.. n end up trying to please my parents.. i can't do it.. i giv up seriously.. sorry.. i giv up on life.. God pls grant me strength.. thank you.. jus dun let them judge me animore.. pls.. i'm tired of their judging..
i'm tired.. all of us are.. i'm sorry for going this far.. i wish i stopped b4.. but i kept going.. but now i regret it.. i'm sorry.. i wish i could turn back the clock and stopped there.. but now i'm too tired.. and it's too late to stop.. now i'll jus continue walkin.. but pls God grant me my strength.. You are my strength..
